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And facebook knows it…

Thanks, team! I will have a great day!


I recently flew back east to be with part of my family for Thanksgiving and it’s so fucking weird. We drive everywhere, the grocery store is enormous and filled with oodles of things covered in the New England Patriots, it’s cold, and there aren’t any sidewalks. I guess I’ve been living in an organic, eco-friendly, untelevised bubble. Television is easy to forget about once you remove it from your living space. Here’s what I learned from TV today:

  • Kohl’s “door buster” sale begins at FOUR AM!!!
  • Everyone else is also having a “door buster” sale
  • McDonald’s opens at 5 AM (or earlier), McMuffins sell at 2 for $3
  • All the drama is on TNT

My mom told me that President Bush opened up some military airspace to help with the holiday traffic. FINALLY my nation’s leader listens to me and my fellow flustered frequent fliers. I’m so glad he chose our plight over more pressing issues. Fuck foreigners, I need to see my cat over the holidays. But seriously, I think it worked because I didn’t wait on JFK’s tarmac for 70 hours. And that made up for the redeye flight I took from San Francisco. That incredibly convenient flight sucks, unless maybe you take sleeping pills or get drunk in first class with your friends. Anyway, I’m glad it only works in one direction. has this gift list feature, maybe it’s new, I wouldn’t know, where you can make lists for your loved ones and add stuff to the list so you don’t forget to buy things for them! It can remind you of their birthdays, and I guess Christmas too but you don’t really need to be reminded of that because of TV. It stores your gift history and gives you recommendations for every recipient you list. If you decide to describe them (options include: Camper, Eccentric, AltRocker, and College Student) you get even more suggestions. For example, I said my dad was an “Artistic Soul” and they recommended a set of finger paints. It needs some work, I guess.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Normally I do not read my spam e-mails. This is primarily due to google mail’s fairly awesome spam filter. Last night, however, something slipped through the cracks into my inbox and after reading “never before has she seen such a small dick! now you can make it bigger” I had to check out Big surprise, it’s a site about an all-natural, herbal penis enlargement drug. The website is nice though, considering, not too flashy except for the penises on the front page. Best part? It’s called “ManSter” and the testimonials are pretty great:

My hard-on is so powerful I feel like I got a tree trunk between my legs. I just started going out with a super hot girl and when she saw me naked the first time I was the biggest she’s ever seen. I’m at 8 inches now and I’m going to keep going. Why the hell not?
Clive, USA

Dear HerbalKing,
I Bought Some Of Your Pills For My Husband About 3 Months Ago Because I Thought He Could Please Me A Bit More Than He Was. What I Wanted Was Increased Organisms, Longer Sexual Drive, And Something That Really Filled Me Up! Thanks HerbalKing, Because Of Your Great Product I Have All Of That Now. My Husbands Penis Has Grown 3 Full Inches Now And It Feels Great When He Sticks It In. We Are So Happy With The Pills.
Joanne Kearns , USA

Yesterday we went into San Francisco for lunch. I wanted some Spanish fare but the damn restaraunt was closed. What is this, Europe? We went to Café de la Presse right across from the Chinatown gate. It was pretty good, although my chicken was dry and not tasty enough to merit $19. At least we were seated next to a window so I could take pictures:




June 2019
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