Red leaves

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Happy Easter

Octopus

I went to Paris. Now I’m back. I should have had pictures from Las Vegas but I don’t. Here’s some pictures from Paris:  

I’m baaaack

First thing’s first: I was accepted to SFAI! It is fabulous news, and I am very excited. This fall I will start working towards a BFA. Fabulous.

Secondly, we returned safely from our romantic getaway to Las Vegas. It was mostly romantic in spurts because Las Vegas is kind of sad that way… and we ate a terrible Valentine’s Day meal in Lone Pine, CA. It’s in a beautiful spot, though, nestled between two mountain ranges. As for the driving part… well, my dad was right. Californians aren’t great drivers, but they’re good at being in the left lane.

I haven’t finished scanning my pictures from the trip yet, but here’s what I ate a few days ago:

Fake meat

I purchased a large bag of frozen Quorn “Chik’n Tenders” and have since used it in two stir fries. From those meals I have concluded that it performs well as a chicken substitute and had a much more convincing texture than the aforementioned Smart Chick’n Strips. Both products are equal however in their disdain for the letter “e.” Here’s a picture of New Jersey:

Bored

So I’m stuck at home (like I go out much anyway) waiting for the cable guy. We’ve already had our internet hooked up and our man for the job showed up within 30 minutes of the early side of the time “window” we were given. Today it’s been 2 1/2 hours and I’m wondering if Comcast, like my mobile phone company, emphasize subscription rather than existing customer care. Kind of like cigarettes! Whatever, as long as the dude gets here. I’ve been missing out on too much Law & Order. Yesterday I tried my culinary hand at vegetable stew, although it came out more soup-like. I didn’t do anything fancy or overly complicated like cooking the vegetables before tossing them in the water like some recipes I found online suggested. That’s what the hot water is for, right? Anyway, my recipe:

• 1 cup lentils
• 1 tbsp basil
• 3 cloves garlic, diced
• 1 3/4 cups small red potatoes, cubed
• 2 cups celery, chopped
• 3 cups mushrooms, quatered
• 2 cups carrots, chopped
• Water
• Vegetable broth/stock
• Salt & pepper
• Soy sauce
• Olive oil

So I cooked the lentils for about an hour in 4 cups of water, then I added all the veggies, garlic, and basil with another 2 cups of water and 1 3/4 of vegetable broth. An hour later this proved to be too much water so I drained a lot of the broth (3 cups maybe?) and added some more vegetable broth (about a cup), salt, pepper, olive oil, and soy sauce. After another hour or so the veggies were almost entirely tender and it tasted pretty good! 

 

 

A few things…

So I guess I’ve been a little busy these past few weeks. I have that whole job thing going on, it’s the season to buy all sorts of shit for people, and I flew all the way to New York City for the weekend. It was cold. There are plenty of good things: I saw some friends in New York, most of my shopping is done, it’s raining so I don’t have to go outside today if I don’t want to, and I baked bread yesterday and it didn’t suck! But there are bad things, too: this movie Juno is getting too much hype-ity hype (more on that later), I have to start paying for my own health insurance, and my bedroom is kind of messy. AT&T is also stupid for making this mistake, even though I know it’s not a mistake:China’s not a city! (Just in case you didn’t catch it.. it took me a few minutes of staring at the wall in the train station to notice). Things like this, the intentional misspellng on toys and games, and the No Child Left Behind Act are going to retard our children!

I was going to say that I don’t really care because at this stage in my life I don’t feel like reproducing at all. Hearing “MOMMY! MOMMY!” fifty times a day doesn’t excite me, but I will say that I do care because these kidz are going to be my doctors. I guess it’s lucky for them that alzheimer’s is already spelled with a “z”. Alzheimer’z? Oh boy. Seriously, world, stop making us more stupid. Which brings me to “Juno” …Teen pregnancy is indeed an important issue and it’s fabulous someone, although I seriously doubt Fox is the first, made a movie about it. As an “Arrested Development” fan, Jason Bateman and Michael Cera’s roles in it are cool, I guess, but really they’re just two more white guys cast alongside a bunch of other white people in a “quirky” movie about a “quirky” girl who gets “pregnant.” And, big surprise, she decides to keep the baby! Why can’t someone get a fucking abortion? That’s dramatic, right? It’s certainly bloody!I’ve been letting my garlic run wild, it’s a fun project:

Fog in Maine

Hooray

Guess who got a job interview? That’s right, ME. HAHAHAH! If I get the job, someone will actually be paying me to play with photos. That’s so freakin’ neat.

ManSter

Normally I do not read my spam e-mails. This is primarily due to google mail’s fairly awesome spam filter. Last night, however, something slipped through the cracks into my inbox and after reading “never before has she seen such a small dick! now you can make it bigger” I had to check out homehore.com. Big surprise, it’s a site about an all-natural, herbal penis enlargement drug. The website is nice though, considering, not too flashy except for the penises on the front page. Best part? It’s called “ManSter” and the testimonials are pretty great:

My hard-on is so powerful I feel like I got a tree trunk between my legs. I just started going out with a super hot girl and when she saw me naked the first time I was the biggest she’s ever seen. I’m at 8 inches now and I’m going to keep going. Why the hell not?
Clive, USA

Dear HerbalKing,
I Bought Some Of Your Pills For My Husband About 3 Months Ago Because I Thought He Could Please Me A Bit More Than He Was. What I Wanted Was Increased Organisms, Longer Sexual Drive, And Something That Really Filled Me Up! Thanks HerbalKing, Because Of Your Great Product I Have All Of That Now. My Husbands Penis Has Grown 3 Full Inches Now And It Feels Great When He Sticks It In. We Are So Happy With The Pills.
Joanne Kearns , USA

Yesterday we went into San Francisco for lunch. I wanted some Spanish fare but the damn restaraunt was closed. What is this, Europe? We went to Café de la Presse right across from the Chinatown gate. It was pretty good, although my chicken was dry and not tasty enough to merit $19. At least we were seated next to a window so I could take pictures: